The Wonder of Youth Distilled into a Film
Do you remember the movie that made you want to raid the attic to find a map and then go outside to hunt treasure, escape booty traps, and flee from felonious evil-doers? If it wasn’t The Goonies, I want to know what the hell you were watching as a kid. I grew up in an era where swashbuckling adventures didn’t have a lot going on. Pirates of the Caribbean was a cut-rate amusement park ride, and Hollywood only produced a couple of rare 90’s success stories in film and TV (Pirates of Dark Water and Hook).
We all know and love The Goonies as a story of a group of misfit kids who embark on an adventure to save their homes from foreclosure by one rich asshole who, unsurprisingly, produced an asshole child. Along the way, they discover an actual hidden pirate ship and a treasure trove of secrets, but the real treasure discovered in this film is the power of friendship (lol, but forreal I’m tearing up). These little maniacs teach us about loyalty, trust, selflessness, and courage in the face of adversity. Granted, I didn’t really figure any of those themes out until I was in my 30’s, but the message is present nonetheless.
The movie made a lasting impact on audiences, and the themes are still relevant today. From the importance of friendship and loyalty, to the power of imagination and courage, The Goonies continues to be a timeless classic that speaks to people of all ages. Through its characters, memorable scenes, and quotable lines, it has become part of pop culture history.
Why do The Goonies Still Captivate Us?
I was too young to see The Goonies in a theater. The film grossed over $61 million domestically and approximately $124 million worldwide on a $19 million budget and was an undeniable hit. That would probably be considered a flop by Hollywood’s insane standards today, but in the 80’s that was some solid gold shit that even One Eyed Willie would protect. Now the film lives in cult classic infamy, much like the aforementioned single eyed pirate named William did for those tiny smart-ass treasure hunters who bested even Chester Copperpot.
The film had its share of problems. Like any action movie starring a small army of children, it faced a number of hurdles during production, including tight schedules, challenging locations, and demanding young actors. The studio executives were unsure about the film’s potential success, considering its blend of adventure, comedy, and child protagonists.
Nevertheless, director Richard Donner’s vision, combined with Chris Columbus’ script, a talented cast, and just maaaaayyyybeeeee a young-yet-untouchable Steven Spielberg as producer led to a remarkable outcome. The film clearly resonated with people by celebrating the sense of camaraderie among the misfit group of kids. Older viewers undoubtedly went back to a place in their childhood where the world was nothing but a sphere of possibility, and young viewers saw that even a sleepy town in Oregon could have an adventure waiting for them.
Remember When Kids Movies were Dark?
Man, that opening scene of a dude in jail that hung himself was a helluva way to kick off the story. I was probably five or six when I saw it for the first time, and that was a crazy image, even with my dad assuring me “it’s just a trick”.
30 years later, I watch that scene as an adult and it’s just rife with the delightful camp I imagine the adults who made the movie saw. It’s a local fucking jail and the dude was in his street clothes. Homeboy was in the drunk tank, but the elaborate escape from his brother and mother would have you think it was a federal prison. PLUS, you’re going to tell me those guards couldn’t get past a thin strip of fire as the Fratelli’s ORV hauled ass out of there. Orthey couldn’t keep track of the same vehicle as it sped through the rest of the beach racers?
Fine, Mr. Donner, I have the suspension of disbelief to accept these situations.
The rest of the movie tows the line and seems like a fever dream of irrational fears kids have in their journals. The list includes:
- Getting stuck in a freezer with a dead body
- Going 45 MPH on a child’s bike
- Meeting a deformed giant
- Being threatened by having your hand put in a blender
- Being crushed
- Falling on spikes
- More crushing
- Poor floor work that seemingly has no structural foundation
- Mistaking dynamite for candles
Child terrorization aside, the movie is funny. Probably a lot funnier as an adult. An exasperated mother who’s trying to get their new Spanish-speaking helper up to speed on helping them move, a tiny dick breaking off a statue, and Ma Fratelli being borderline sympathetic with her bickering sons and a restaurant full of little shits shouting over one another. Even as she utters the infamous line, “Kids Suck,” we all know she’s still awful and this movie most certainly doesn’t suck, but maybe she has a point?
Do The Goonies actually Suck?
Kids might suck sometimes, but other times they are beacons of all things that are good. The story has far too much light to let the darkness take it over, and that optimism is carried throughout the story with Mikey carrying that flame in his tiny asthmatic chest.
Whether it’s Troy getting blasted by water pipes and then later dumped via wishing well, Data’s father giving him the most heartwarming compliment I have ever heard, Mikey getting a smooch from Andie, Mouth and Steph sharing a compliment and getting perilously close to smooching, or Chunk finding his new best friend in Sloth and making a quick assumption that his parents would be cool with him just moving into their house, the good feels keep on rolling.
Even when you think Andie is going to actually kill them all with her piano playing, or Data’s inventions pop out and punch him in the face, the group’s optimism and confidence in the face of opposition is the Goonie way of life, and brings me insurmountable joy. Sometimes they can suck at what they do, or just in general (looking at you, Mouth) but name me a thing in real life that doesn’t suck at some point in its existence.
To me, remembering the characters from The Goonies is like remembering childhood friends, even the ones who wanted to kill you and steal your treasure. From Mikey, Chunk, Data and Mouth, to Sloth and the Fratellis, each character was an interesting piece to the film’s dynamic and brought something to screen while present.
When looking back, holy shit were there some future talents in this film. I think I had a solid 15-20 year gap in viewings at one point, and when I watched it again, I was blown away by all the amazing actors who had gone on to do some very cool projects.
The Cast that Wouldn’t Say Die
The movie stars Sean Astin (Samwise Motherfucking Gamgee), Corey Feldman (Ricky Fucking Butler), Josh Brolin (Motherfuckin Thanos), Ke Huy Quan (Waymond Fucking Wang), Joe Pantoliano (Cy Fucking Pher), and so many more. Much of the cast went on to other iconic roles in the 80’s, 90’s, and even throughout the 2000’s.
I always remember Sean Astin more or less reviving his career with Rudy. That was when we learned little Mikey had grown up. Then he really cemented his legend as everyone’s BFF potato aficionado Samwise Gamgee. Sean seemingly popped up in random roles in the following decades like Lynn McGill in 24, or schlub-to-hero Bob Newby in Stranger Things.
Corey Feldman. Corey. Feldman. One of the famed child actors of the 80’s who did amazing things and now plays in an obscure rock and roll band. He still lives on in my mind as Ricky Butler in The Burbs, and Teddy Duchamp in Stand By Me. Even his brief stint in Troma films is fun in their own right. His legend lives on, and when I see random videos of his band it seems to me that he embraced the weirdness.
Josh Brolin. This guy. Come on. George W Bush, Cable, Thanos, Llewelyn Moss. The dude kicked off his career with The Goonies, and was relatively obscure for a few decades despite having super famous parents. He eventually found his mojo again as is-he-isn’t-he-antihero Moss in No Country for Old Men, and followed that up by snagging a comic book movie double whammy as Cable and Thanos? Come on, if you can’t appreciate this guy going from riding a little girl’s bike with training wheels to annihilating half of the universe, I ask you to check your pulse.
There are so many more from Ke Huy Quan, to Martha Plimpton, to Joe Pantoliano that I could probably do an entire separate blog post. Maybe I will. I could probably do a blog post simply on Mary Ellen Trainor as a staple in Richard Donner films, and 80’s action flicks as a whole. Alas, I digress. And I must wrap this all up.
Wrapping It All Up
The Goonies transcended its initial uncertainties and became a cherished classic in my heart, and the hearts of millions of others. They entertained audiences and inspired generations with its sense of adventure, camaraderie, and unwavering belief in the power of dreams. Watching this as an adult never ceases to give me that feeling of remembering what it was like to have the sense of wonder as a child; imagining treasure and adventure are just in my backyard. It brings me back to a number of places, and as an adult makes me proud to be part of a legion of fans who will forever, Never Say Die.
